Feedback and Reviews
What military couples and the professionals that serve them have to say about the Marriage and Military Life inventory and The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military utilized in the workshop.
This ‘survival guide’ is so well done and will serve as a valuable tool for military couples; it is unique and specifically designed to address the needs of the military lifestyle. Dr. Majel B.,
Maintaining the readiness of Soldiers and their families is critical to the military’s efforts to sustain the global war on terrorism. In these times of longer and more frequent deployments, stress within military families is increasing across all of the services and their components. The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military and the Marriage and Military Life inventory are great tools to help mitigate some of these issues.
Chaplain Gomulka performs a pre-emptive strike to prevent problems before they start and to overcome problems once they have begun. This is a great resource for both military chaplains and the personnel they serve.
I liked The Survival Guide. To help us navigate what we need to do in the military, we constantly deal with regs and specifications. When it comes to gauging how the military way-of-life impacts our relationships with our loved ones, there are no score sheets – until now. Captain Gomulka has put together a thorough, systematic way to talk with our service members about everything from money to kids to even in-laws – and to gauge how well we are working together as a team toward our common goals. If you are dating or married to a service member, you’ll be glad you read this book. Ralph Nelson, author of The Savvy Sailor and other books that offer financial planning advice to military personnel and families.
We recently purchased 200 copies of The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military and the Airmen loved them. I would like to order a larger quantity... CMSgt ALB, Superintendent,
We found The Survival Guide very helpful in pinpointing particular issues that we hadn’t realized we disagreed upon. The book then allowed us to take it a step further with the “Rules of Engagement” in the Discussion Guide where we were offered insights and prompted with questions that helped us work towards a resolution. No third party involvement; no outrageous counseling fees; and no appointments to keep; allowing us to address each issue when it was convenient for us and for as long as we wanted.
Amy and Chris W.
As a married, military couple, we found The Survival Guide to be a very useful tool. In our opinion, it will save quite a number of marriages. We can see how so many marriages break up as there are far more challenges involved when one is married in the military. As a couple in the middle of our seventh move in twelve years of marriage, we can speak freely that the challenges are tough and require much patience. We think a book like this should be issued to any couple wishing to be married in the military. Donna and Andy M.
I am ‘sold’ that this is great material and ‘news worthy’ to share with constituents.
My wife and I have been married ten years and we have an eight year old son. I was unhappy for a number of reasons and I decided I wanted out. I went to a divorce lawyer and paid $1,500 when my father (who was aware of our marital problems) sent me an advanced copy of The Survival Guide (a manuscript he received from the author). Although I never wanted to go to marriage counseling, with the help of the discussion guide, we were able to work on our problems without exposing them to others. After talking about the statements that the book indicated we needed to address, we were able to arrive at compromises that eliminated any desire or need for a divorce. If it were not for The Survival Guide, my wife and I would probably be divorced today, and God only knows how the divorce would have affected our son. If you are thinking of getting a divorce, give The Survival Guide a shot, it might make a big difference in your life as it did in mine. Bob
This book is different from any relationship book I’ve ever read (and after my divorce I’ve read a number of them). When I saw that it was written by a former chaplain, I was afraid it might be heavily religious. But while it had a small section on religion, it was not at all preachy. It’s more of an interactive self-help program than a book you read from cover to cover. It comes with two detachable questionnaires similar to what marriage counselors use. Only instead of meeting with a counselor, the couple reads and discusses advice provided in the book’s discussion guide. After reading some of the advice on a number of different topics from sex to even pets, I wish the book were around years ago. I can’t say for sure if it would have saved me from marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons, but I think it can probably help a lot of couples before and after marriage. Trish
I found the book to be an insightful read. More importantly, however, I enthusiastically recommend that every chaplain, executive officer (XO), and first sergeant or sergeant major get a copy and use it to counsel his or her young Marines and sailors who are chomping at the bit to take the matrimonial plunge. The lessons contained within the covers of this book may save countless hours of counseling, countless dollars in lost productivity, countless phone calls to the command in the middle of the night, and countless hopes shattered by people who marry for the wrong reasons. As an XO myself, I will keep this book on the short list of references that I will keep handy. Major G – a battalion XO at Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD)
Shawn and I found the book easy to read and very self-explanatory. It really made us think and consider aspects of our relationship that we had not thought about previously. We liked the fact it brought to light some things that needed to be discussed before the marriage that hadn’t been yet. It gave us an opportunity to really sit down and talk about important things such as money and children. Although we agree on the children aspect, we needed to work through the money part…. think this is a perfect way for couples to offer each other their opinions on certain things. Things they may have had on their minds for a while and never really had the opportunity to discuss. I believe this book will also be beneficial to couples that are already married. It will also give them an opportunity to discuss issues that may be causing problems or straining their relationship. We would definitely recommend this book to others. I think it really got Shawn and me to open up to each other about things we had never discussed before. Sarah and Shawn K.
The book offered us an opportunity to dialogue. Jake was able to get a better understanding of my views and opinions. The things I assumed he didn’t care about were very much at the forefront of his mind. The book gave us a chance to discuss them. The book also forced us to address issues that most couples probably tend to glaze over. It’s not really romantic to have to discuss financial issues or to divulge how much one spends in a month. However, by having all touchy issues out in the open, it allows for a clearer understanding of where your partner is coming from. It also allows you to know what topics/items are real issues for your partner. This is helpful in avoiding any future misunderstandings after marriage (when it may be too late to think twice). After using the “Survival Guide,” it showed both of us how very compatible we are. If there were any doubts about whether or not we will be able to get along in the future, they don’t exist anymore! Jake and I would recommend this book to those considering marriage. The book touches many different important topics that will certainly come up sometime in a marriage. It’s better to get a perspective on these topics before walking down the aisle…. Jeanette and Jake M.
My husband and I completed the detachable self-grading inventory that helped us identify areas in our relationship that had room for improvement. With the help of the discussion guide, we were able to discuss particular shortcomings that needed some work without becoming defensive or hurting each other’s feelings. I think the book can help both couples who have good marriages and want great marriages, as well as couples that have problems and might be hesitant to meet with a counselor. I liked the fact that it addressed unique problems and challenges we face in the military (like deployments and multiple moves). While the author served in the Navy, it is written with language and examples that make it meaningful to people in all branches of the military.... S. Grace
Arrange for one or both of these workshops to be given at your command by contacting
Gene Thomas Gomulka, author of Marriage and Military Life and The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military available at www.plaintec.net.
Toll-free: 877-618-7076 – Fax: 614-748-5221 gtgomulka@plaintec.net