Feedback-Reviews
The
Relationship Inventory and
the Counseling Insights have their genesis in The Survival Guide for
Marriage in the Military authored by
Gene Thomas Gomulka. The book was first
published in 2004 and a revised and expanded edition appeared in 2007. The
current collaborative online program was developed in 2009 and expanded to
include the law enforcement community whose members experience stressors similar
to military personnel and their families. The following comments can help you
understand why this is such an effective relationship enhancement and evaluation
program for military and law enforcement couples.
“Your
counseling insights helped save our marriage after my husband returned from
"I was going
to marry my boyfriend before he deployed.
After a chaplain encouraged us to complete your inventory online and
consider ordering your insights, we decided that we’re too young to get married.
I’m 18 and he’s 19. I believe you
prevented us from making a very big mistake." Jodi D.
In her column
on 24 April
2005, Dear Abby
wrote that The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military "is very well
done, easy to read and jargon-free, and although it was written for military
couples whose marriages can be subject to extreme stresses, it can provide food
for thought to civilian couples as well."
"This
'survival guide' is so well done and will serve as a valuable tool for military
couples; it is unique and specifically designed to address the needs of the
military lifestyle." Dr. Majel B.,
In an article dated April
15, 2009, Julie Maggiacomo Carrera wrote: "The Survival Guide for Marriage in the
Military includes a wealth of information for all married or dating
couples, and has salvaged many marriages. It is the perfect tool for those who
are planning to get married to a service member or are currently married to
one." Read
the entire article.
"I found the
book to be an insightful read. More importantly, however, I
enthusiastically recommend that every chaplain, executive officer (XO), and
first sergeant or sergeant major get a copy and use it to counsel his or her
young Marines and sailors who are chomping at the bit to take the matrimonial
plunge. The lessons contained within the covers of this book may save
countless hours of counseling, countless dollars in lost productivity, countless
phone calls to the command in the middle of the night, and countless hopes
shattered by people who marry for the wrong reasons. As an XO myself, I
will keep this book on the short list of references that I will keep handy."
Major G - a battalion XO at Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD)
"We have been
using The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military for our marriage
enrichment workshops for married couples in our 'Beyond the Yellow Ribbon'
Program which is directed at Minnesota National Guard and Reservists and their
families to reintegrate into civilian life and family life after extended
deployments in the Global War on Terror (GWOT). We have found the book to be
very useful in opening up topics for animated discussion on various issues in
military marriages. It is a great resource! I particularly appreciated the
'rules of engagement' concept in conflict resolution in military marriages. I
also appreciated some of the observations and counsel related to parenting while
deployments are going on and when spouses return from
deployments."
David A.
Thompson, M.Div., M.S.E.,CT, LPC
Military
Family Life Consultant
"We found this
book very helpful in pinpointing particular issues that we hadn't realized we
disagreed upon. The book then allowed us to take it a step further with
the 'Rules of Engagement' in the Discussion Guide where we were offered insights
and prompted with questions that helped us work towards a
resolution. No third party involvement; no outrageous counseling
fees; and no appointments to keep; allowing us to address each issue when it was
convenient for us and for as long as we wanted." Amy and Chris W.
"As a married,
military couple, we found the book to be a very useful tool. In our opinion, it
will save quite a number of marriages. We can see how so many marriages break up
as there are far more challenges involved when one is married in the military.
As a couple in the middle of our seventh move in twelve years of marriage, we
can speak freely that the challenges are tough and require much patience. We
think a book like this should be issued to any couple wishing to be married in
the military." Donna and Andy Mozingo
"We recently
purchased 200 copies of The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military
and the Airmen loved them. I would like to order a larger quantity..."
CMSgt ALB, Superintendent,
"My wife and I
have been married ten years and we have an eight year old son. I was
unhappy for a number of reasons and I decided I wanted out. I went to a
divorce lawyer and paid $1,500 when my father sent me a copy of The
Survival Guide. Although I never wanted to go to marriage counseling,
with the help of the discussion guide, we were able to work on our problems
without exposing them to others. After talking about the statements that
the book indicated we needed to address, we were able to arrive at compromises
that eliminated any desire or need for a divorce. If it were not for The
Survival Guide, my wife and I would probably be divorced today, and God only
knows how the divorce would have affected our son. If you are thinking of
getting a divorce, give The Survival Guide a shot, it might make a big
difference in your life as it did in mine." Bob
"This book is
different from any relationship book I've ever read (and after my divorce I've
read a number of them). When I saw that it was written by a former chaplain, I
was afraid it might be heavily religious. But while it had a small section on
religion, it was not at all preachy. It's more of an interactive self-help
program than a book you read from cover to cover. It comes with two detachable
questionnaires similar to what marriage counselors use.
Only instead of meeting with a counselor, partners read and discuss advice
provided in the book's discussion guide. After reading some of the advice on a
number of different topics from sex to even pets, I wish the book were around
years ago. I can't say for sure if it would have saved me from marrying the
wrong person for the wrong reasons, but I think it can probably help a lot of
couples before and after marriage." Trish
"I ordered two
copies of The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military for my son and
his girlfriend who are planning to marry. I read it myself and found it to be
very clear and very user friendly. It's wonderful to be able to provide him with
a clear cut, common sense guide. Thank you for publishing it." Mom
"Maintaining
the readiness of Soldiers and their families is critical to the military's
efforts to sustain the global war on terrorism. In these times of longer
and more frequent deployments, stress within military families is increasing
across all of the services and their components. Books like yours are
great tools to help mitigate some of these issues."
"I am sold
that this is great material and news worthy to share with constituents."
"Chaplain
Gomulka performs a pre-emptive strike to prevent problems before they start and
to overcome problems once they have begun. This is a great resource for both
Navy chaplains and Sea Services personnel." R.F., CDR,
CHC, USN
"My husband
and I completed the detachable self-grading inventory that helped us identify
areas in our relationship that had room for improvement. With the help of the
discussion guide, we were able to discuss particular shortcomings that needed
some work without becoming defensive or hurting each other's feelings. I think
the book can help both couples who have good marriages and want great marriages,
as well as couples that have problems and might be hesitant to meet with a
counselor. I liked the fact that it addressed unique problems and challenges we
face in the military (like deployments and multiple moves). While the author
served in the Navy, it was written with language and examples that make it
meaningful to people from all branches of the military...."S.
G.
"Neither I nor
my fiance are in the military (though I did grow up in
a military home), but most of the advice given in this book can pertain to all
engaged or soon-to-be engaged couples. My fiance and I
are young, just graduating college, and we found that the self-graded
questionnaires in particular gave us constructive assistance in realizing where
both our strengths and weaknesses as a couple lie. If you're not planning to go
to premarital counseling, and even if you are, give this book a try. It is worth
it." Emily
"I liked this
book. To help us navigate what we need to do in the military, we constantly deal
with regs and specifications. When it comes to gauging
how the military way-of-life impacts our relationships with our loved ones,
there are no score sheets -- until now. Captain Gomulka has put together a
thorough, systematic way to talk with our service members about everything from
money to kids to even in-laws -- and to gauge how well we are working together
as a team toward our common goals. If you are dating or married to a service
member, you'll be glad you read this book." Ralph Nelson
"I ordered
your book for the daughter of a friend who is marrying into the Army this
winter. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did!" Kathy - the wife of a
military lawyer