My partner and I would not hesitate to seek counseling if problems developed and persisted that threatened our relationship.

If a person develops cold or flu symptoms, one ordinarily does not need to contact a physician. However, if a physical problem does not go away but becomes more serious, then most people would call upon a doctor for help. We don’t need a physician to get over a cold, but we do need an oncologist if we are suffering from cancer. The same applies to relationships.

While the partners themselves can resolve some problems, other more serious problems require professional help from a counselor or trained civilian member of the clergy. Unfortunately, rather than seeking professional help, many dating and married couples seek advice from relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbors who generally are not capable or qualified to help them resolve their problems. Just as persons suffering from cancer do not go to other cancer patients for treatment, likewise, people with serious marital problems should not rely upon married or divorced acquaintances to solve their marital problems. We wouldn’t think of asking a friend to remove our appendix, so why would we ask that same friend to operate on our relationship?

If your partner or you are hesitant to avail yourselves to counseling, is it because of fear? Are you afraid to admit that you cannot solve all of your own problems? Voluntarily seeking counseling is far better than having the problem grow worse and possibly destroying the relationship. When one partner refuses to pursue counseling, is the other partner justified in separating or seeking a divorce? How much unhappiness can one partner expect to endure before terminating the relationship?

Like most forms of cancer that have higher remission rates if treated early, so, too, can early detection and professional treatment of serious marital problems result in higher reconciliation rates leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships. Just as one seeks the best doctor available, particular care should be given to finding a competent counselor.