Four Typical Scenarios

involving couples that have used

The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military

Mary and Todd completed the inventory online and were informed that there were ten statements that needed to be discussed with the help of the counseling insights provided in the program.  The majority of these statements dealt with finances and children.  After discussing each of the statements prefaced by reading the counseling insights designed to aid their discussion, Mary and Todd were able to resolve their differences and were led to believe that they were not only ready to get married, but were also really right for each another.  The majority of couples that use The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military reach similar conclusions.

Felicia and Robert learned that there were fourteen statements that required discussion in their case.  They were able to resolve all but one of them with the help of the counseling insights provided by the program.  Because they were making plans to get married in Felicia’s church, they made an appointment with Felicia’s pastor with whom they shared the results of their inventory along with their completed “Biographical Profiles” they downloaded from the website.  The pastor, having had years of pastoral counseling experience, was able to help the couple with their unresolved issue and reinforce their decision to marry.

Tiffany and Eric were informed that there were five statements that needed to be addressed.  While they were initially encouraged by the fact that the program identified only five potentially problematic issues in their relationship, they later discovered that one of these issues proved to be a truly “irreconcilable difference” in which one partner wanted children and the other partner was set on having an operation that would preclude having a family.  This revelation led the couple ultimately to cancel their marriage plans.  While Tiffany regretted breaking up with Eric, she was later relieved that this took place when it did instead of months or years after they were already married.

Grace and Tom completed the inventory and learned that there were only four statements that were potentially problematic in their relationship.  One of the reasons this number was relatively low was because Grace was hesitant to admit to certain shortcomings on Tom’s part. Hence, when asked if her partner was always able to control his temper, Grace answered “Yes” instead of being honest and responding “No.”  Because she did not want to address his problem in dealing with anger, they married only later to divorce when Tom’s abusive behavior became worse and threatened both Grace and their newborn child.  Had they both been more honest in responding to the statements in the inventory, they might have been able to correct some of their shortcomings or they might have decided not to marry.  This particular case underscores the importance of being honest in responding to the statements.